I just wanted to be human Chapter 26

Song: Field of God-Dog ~ Village of the Dog God
Album: Shadow Hearts II OST

Song: The Son Never Shines (On closed doors)
Artist: Flogging Molly

Song: The Messenger
Artist: Linkin Park

Song: Aria Di Mezzo Carattere
Album: Final Fantasy VI (Grand Finale)

Chapter 26: Learn to Live Again

Spine watched and waited as Rabbit began to start up again. He smiled out of the corner of his mouth as those mismatched eyes flickered. Any time Rabbit could come back and it not be caused by a crash was a good thing. Something worth smiling about for once.

“Good Morning.” He cheered. It had become a habit this past week, but not particularly one he wanted to change.

Rabbit gave a few blinks before returning a soft smile. “Is it really morning?” He teased before turning to investigate the bars around him. Over the past few days each time he came back online there were less and less restraints. This time was no different, leaving only one over his waist and arms.

“Actually this time it is Morning.” Spine laughed, raising both arms in the air in a sort of victory dance. The last few days as the crashes became fewer Spine started to become more cheerful. Or perhaps it was due to the fact that he was finally starting to take Peter's advice to power down while Rabbit was. Spine didn't seem to realize that Rabbit was purposefully shutting himself down in hopes he would recharge. Smiling, Rabbit nodded to himself that his little plan had worked.

“Someone's excited.” Rabbit relaxed back on the table. It was nice to see Spine with energy and gusto again.

“Today Micheal is getting his cast taken off.” Spine announced with a broad smile.

“Th-that’s wonderful news.”

“I know you haven't been able to see much of everybody since- Well this past week.” Spine quickly changed the subject and cleared his throat. “But I was discussing with Peter.”

“And?” Rabbit egged on. Spines explanations could take forever if you let him.

“How would you feel about taking a quick walk around the manor?” Peter V asked as he lifted his head from his desk behind them. He slowly stood to his feet, his joints popping in anger for being bent for so long. He sighed and turned towards them, dropping the goggles from around his eyes and gave them each a sweet smile. “Just for a test... to see how you feel.”

Rabbit pinched his brow in thought, frowning to the floor. “But I... are you sure? I don't want to... well what about the-”

“Just for a little bit.” Spine interrupted and quickly placed a hand on his brother's shoulder. Over the last few days he could see the warning signs of another crash, learning the triggers. Trying to remember that day was one of them. And until they could sort things out, distracting Rabbit from them was the best option. “We've watched you for six days. In this state you are still too weak to technically be threatening.” He laughed and pretended to knock him in the cheek with a clenched fist, the way a brother would tease. “I can handle you.”

Rabbit laughed at first and as Spine pulled his hand away his expression turned serious. The smoke expressing itself from his vents, a reoccurring problem yet to be fixed from his many crashes.  “Spine.” His voice was stern, his eyes piercing. “Do you promise? If I... You can handle it?”

Spine straightened his back and squared his shoulders, staring down at Rabbit intently with that fixed look of determination. “I promise. I can handle it. You will be safe, with me.”

“Don't worry, Rabbit.” Peter reassured as he patted his shoulder. “I installed Spine with some new, anti-rogue-robot hardware. Its not enough to destroy, but enough to stun.” He beamed at his contribution to his family's line of additions. “Its just a beta test now. Soon you all will be equipped with one.”

“So... so you'll actually get to set your phasers to stun, huh?” Rabbit laughed at his own joke, which made Spine and Peter laugh too. Not that it was particularly funny, but just the fact that he was joking again made it worth laughing at.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

The two brothers walked silently down the halls. To Rabbit it only felt like he had been gone, locked in the lab, for a week. This moment meant more to Spine. Over the past months he had watched and waited in anticipation. Fretted and worried that this might never happen again. Watched over him as he was offline, helped the Peters try and fix him. The Wi-fi still remained off, leaving the automatons minds secluded to their own. Something that hasn't happened in a long time. But all of them knew that when they were forced back into their own minds, it meant Rabbit could escape his.

They were now walking down the long hallway towards the front of the manor. Rabbit raised an eyebrow, trying not to turn his head towards Spine. “Are we going somewhere in particular?” He queried.

Spine nodded and chuckled. “Yes.” He stated flatly, restraining the bounding glee inside of him. Rabbit turned to him now, eyebrow still peaked.

“Are you going to-to t-t-tell me where?”

“No.” Spine tried to be stiff again, but obviously struggling with his laughter.

“You are terrible at surprises.” Rabbit laughed and shook his head. Then seeing the pout Spine gave him just proved his assumptions. “It is a sur-surprise isn't it?” He smoked excitedly.

“No. What... what would make you think that? Its just a casual walk to the kitchen.” Spine started to grow defensive.

“So its in the Kitchen i-i-i-is it?” Rabbit's stuttering was growing but not to the point yet to be alarmed. Spine opened his mouth to retort but quickly closed again. He had no response to that. Rabbit was back, and already he was starting to torture him the way only an older brother can. “Oh Spine... Spine, Spine, Spine, Spine. You can keep other peoples surprise secrets, but when its your surprise you are the worst.” He laughed.

“I... that's not entirely true.” Spine pouted, getting back into the rhythm of their banter. “I have some of the best surprises.”

“Spine please... I have the best surprises.” Rabbit smirked, raising his palms up to his jawline and laying them flat to frame his perfect grin.

“That is true.” Spine forced a pout, but in all honesty he couldn't be mad. Not today. Not right now.

“Jon!” Rabbits voice suddenly picked up, hitting that ecstatic note as he waved a hand. Spine immediately raised his eyes to Jon standing at the end of the hallway. Rabbit was all smiles, waving and walking quickly towards the other bot. “Hey buddy! I feel like I-I haven't seen you in forever.”

Spine marched quickly, keeping at Rabbit's excited pace. Jon on the other hand stood still at the end of the hallway. He didn't return the smile, his expression almost panicked as Rabbit was quickly approaching him. He bounced uneasily foot to foot, but as the distance closed between them he started to take several steps backward.

Rabbit began to slow, showing the rejection in his eyes as Spine grabbed his arm and forced him to stop. “Jon?... Jon I-... What's wrong buddy-y-y?” His voice cracked.

“Hey Rabbit.” Jon swallowed hard, his eyes darting from Rabbit to Spine.

“I uh... haven't seen you lately.” Rabbit pouted, letting his arms fall against his sides. Spine softly loosened his grip and kept his eyes keen on the situation. Not wanting Rabbit to crash again. However Jon needed this interaction.

“Yea. Hatchy and I have been coloring and stuff.”

“Well... We can color again now.” Rabbit forced a sad smile, so desperately wanting to be accepted again. His mind reeling to understand Jon's distance. Unconsciously he started rubbing his arm as the pain began to slowly flare up.

“... maybe...” Jon mumbled. He fidgeted with his hands.

“Wouldn't you....” Rabbit let out a small gasp, trying to ease the pain in his arm by rotating it slowly. He was struggling to hide the flare up, but Spine could tell. He had spent the last few days studying Rabbit's pain. Logging the warning signs.  “Do you... not want t-t-to?”

Jon frowned, keeping his eyes on the ground. “I um...”

“Jon?” Spine crossed his arms as he stood next to Rabbit now. Trying not to let the other bot know how worried he was. Now closer he could see Rabbit's oxygen intake growing more rapid and shallow, his grip tightening over his arm.

“I have to go help Hatchy.” Jon excused himself. For a split second before running off he gave them a small smile, then escaped down the stairwell.

They stood silently beside each other as Jon ran off. Spine could tell Rabbit was starting to stress his systems. One of them had to say something, to break the emotional down pour that was sure to happen. “Rabbit. I-”

“Did I do something wrong?” Rabbit panted, cringing as he pinched his arm.

“You didn't do anything wrong Rabbit. Jon he... He's just too sensitive.” Spine bellowed, hovering over him.

“... I don't understand...” His voice cracking as the oil welled in his eyes. He hung his head low, arching his shoulders high in hopes to stretch the pain away. “... what did I do to him?... why would he... not trust me?” Rabbit let out a soft pained moan. He turned harshly to the wall and rested his forehead against it. He could feel the strain making his legs weak, using the structure to balance himself.

“Its just the way Jon is. He has a harder time, understanding.” Spine tried to keep his tone even. He stood behind Rabbit, arms spread wide in case he crashed again. In case he needed something to fall back on. “He hasn't forgiven me either. Hatchworth has been keeping him occupied, but from what I was told he's not dealing with it well. It's just going to take time. You know how he is. He has to sort things out in his own way.” Spine paused, realizing he had drifted off on a tangent and Rabbit became quiet. “Rabbit?”

The weakened bot stretched his good arm above his head, leaning his entire weight on the wall and clenched his pained arm against his chest. His body was perfectly still, his gears stuttering in place. The smoke began to pour out of his vents before Spine realized. “Rabbit take in oxygen.” He commanded.

Rabbit cringed and then gasped. The pain was too great to think, to great to move, to great to even breathe. Coughing smoke as he struggled to take in oxygen again. His legs crumpling underneath him. Spine carefully placed a hand on his back, guiding him down to a sitting position on the floor. Rabbit's breath began to steady, but Spine refused to take his hand back. Letting it rest calmly against his shaking frame. “What was that?”

“...take... me... back...” Rabbit gasped between bouts of smoke.

“Back? Back where? To the lab?” Spine frowned as Rabbit shook his head. He could feel him shake underneath his hand. The pain in his arm never truly went away, but would increase due to stress and strain, reflection back to her. Back to that day. “I will if you really want me to. But I'm going to say this here and now.” He sat on his knees behind Rabbit on the ground, starting to rub his back gently. “You have nothing to feel ashamed about. We are grateful to you... for everything you've done. Even if Jon can't tell you in his way. Know that I.. that I appreciate it. I can't say thank you enough for the things you have done.”

He cleared his throat, realizing he was going off again. “We have to learn to live again. To exist in the world again. Its hard, its painful, just like all the other times.” He squeezed his eyes shut, turning his face away for a moment. “We have to keep going... We can't let her be the reason we break. She doesn't deserve the satisfaction.” He cursed in hushed tones. His searing hatred for her laced each word.

He felt Rabbit sputter against his hand, drawing his attention back. As he glanced down he could see the soft bolts start to spark through his frame. He shouldn't have started this topic, shouldn't have brought it up. “And besides. You... you won't get to see my surprise.” He changed the subject, hoping it was in time before Rabbit had a chance to fall to those memories again.

“... su-...surprise?” Rabbit murmured, struggled to form the words. Whether it was the sheer amount of pain from his arm, or the depression from Jon, or the reflection of those memories Spine couldn't tell. But if Rabbit was talking, he wasn't crashing.

“Yes. Its a very good one. Everyone helped me put it together.” He lifted his palm off Rabbit's vest. Pointing a finger he used it like a pencil and began to draw strange shapes against his copper frame. “There's going to be balloons.” He drew a small round shape. “And lots of food. All your favorites.” Spine continued, hoping his super ability to go off topic would be helpful for once.

For nearly 10 minutes they sat on the floor, letting Spine ramble on. He continued to draw the shapes as he spoke, knowing Rabbit was still there when he would correct him that that wasn't how you draw a pear. They were short, quick, and breathy corrections, but they kept Rabbit engaged. And as his pain subsided the smoke would clear, it was easier to speak, easier to sit, easier to get to his knees. And eventually with help, Rabbit was able to get back to his feet again.

They stood still, watching each other to make sure the other was okay. Realizing they both had the same look they laughed ever so slightly. “What do you want to do now?” Spine asked, making sure Rabbit could balance properly enough to walk. “Do you want to go back to the lab?”

Rabbit took in a deep breath, wiping the oil stains from his cheeks with Spine's sleeve. Then fixing his hat and straightening his vest. “I think... I wanna go to this surprise party you've told me everything about so its no longer a surprise... party.” He laughed.

Spine's eyes went wide as he had just realized. “Oh. I ruined it. Can you pretend to be surprised then? I kind of... promised Hatchworth.”

Rabbit nodded and started to walk that path towards the kitchen again. “Of course. I know you. You always have t-t-to keep your promises.”